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【Twitterまとめ 2023/12/25~2024/1/7】「セクシーを意識してる?」他 310ネタ


 この記事のカテゴリは、小ネタまとめ です。

Fever - 発熱



Treating a Fever(発熱の治療)

38℃-40℃ (100°F-104°F)
Fluids, rest, normal doctor stuff

Hospital, advanced doctor stuff

Exit that steam cloud immediately

Stop, drop, and roll

Return to Earth from Venus ASAP

Please climb out of that volcano

Turn your tunneling machine around and come back up to the surface

No, the surface of the Earth, not the Sun

Wait, that's not the Sun. What star are you visiting? Come back right now.

At least stay on the surface of the star instead of diving down to the core

You know, you could've picked a normal star instead of one that's exploding

10,000,000,000℃ or higher
I hope you're enjoying your visit to the Big Bang but you should really come back home immediately

Alt-text: Hypothermia of below 98.6 K should be treated by leaving the giant molecular cloud and moving to the vicinity of a star.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2024年) です。

Range Safety - 射場安全管理


Range Safety(射場安全管理)

声1: There are reports of thunderstorms in the downrange area.
声1: The Range Safety Officer has ordered a launch hold.
声1: But the Range Danger Officer wants to launch the rocket toward the biggest thunderstorm.
声2: Okay, why do we even have that position?

Alt-text: The Range Mischief Officer has modified the trajectory to add a single random spin somewhere in the flight, but won't tell us where.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2024年) です。

2024 - 2024年



ポニーテール: So this is 2024.
男: Yup. Guess it's an election year now.
ポニーテール: Again? Man, those just keep happening, huh?

ポニーテール: Who's the president these days, anyway? Is it still Obama?
男: What? No? He hasn't been... How do you not...

ポニーテール: Darn, I liked him. Is he running this time?
男: No, he's not allowed to.
ポニーテール: He's not? Why?
男: Constitution.

スマホ画面: Amendment 22
スマホ画面: No person shall be elected to the office of the president more than twice

ポニーテール: What?? C'mon...
ポニーテール: Don't all your cells get replaced every seven years, Ship of Theseus-style? Is he even the same person?
ポニーテール: Maybe "no person shall be elected more than twice" isn't a prohibition, it's more of an observation, like "you can't step in the same river twice.

男: Isn't the cell thing a myth?
男: I think tooth enamel has a turnover half-life of 30+ years. His teeth molecules are probably the same.

ポニーテール: So if Obama just gets false teeth, he can run again! I need to talk to a dentist and a lawyer!
男: The Supreme Court is about to vote 9-0 to block your number.

Alt-text: It wasn't originally constitutionally required, but presidents who served two terms have traditionally followed George Washington's example and gotten false teeth.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2024年) です。

Iceland - アイスランド



男(発表者): Okay, we'll make it an island on a mid-ocean ridge to satisfy the mantle people and the oceanographers.
男(着席): But what about my glaciers?
男(発表者): We can just pile them on the volcanoes.
女(着席): Don't forget that it has to be near a pole - I was promised aurora!

Iceland was designed by a committee of planetary scientists that was trying to satisfy everyone.

Alt-text: The HVAC bill for installing the Gulf Stream was enormous.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2023年) です。