Twitter icon  Tumblr icon  facebook icon  rss icon  feedly icon > xkcd日本語訳(2020年)アーカイブ

Homemade Masks 自家製マスク


Homemade Masks(自家製マスク)

男: Homemade mask, huh? You think they help?
男: I've read so many conflicting things.

女: Well, what I was doing before was carrying around a big sign that said "There's a pandemic so please give me space because I don't want to get sick or make anyone else sick!"

女: The problem was, I had to write small to fit, so people kept walking closer to read it.
男: Oops.
女: Yeah, the mask gets it across better.

Alt-text: I'm going to change the sign so the pole is horizontal and the sign is mounted on the front like a plunger, so I can carry it around like a lance to gently push people back if they try to approach.




 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2020年) です。

Scenario 4 - シナリオNo.4


Scenario 4(シナリオNo.4)

女: Our new models outline a few possible scenarios.

男: #1 is the best scenario.

女: Scenario 2 is not so great.
男: Scenario 3 would be pretty bad.
女: Then there is scenario 4.

女: We think it's a graphing error.

男: If not, we definitely want to avoid it.

Alt-text: Remember, models aren't for telling you facts, they're for exploring dynamics. This model apparently explores time travel.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2020年) です。

Collector's Edition - 保存版


Collector's Edition(保存版)

Alt-text: I'm sure you can find some suitable worldbuilding material if you scavenge through the archives.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2020年) です。

Pathogen Resistance - 病原菌耐性


Pathogen Resistance(病原菌耐性)

バクテリオファージ: I'm worried about humans developing resistance to us.
バクテリオファージ: Using pasta.

The human immune system is a nightmare.
It's the worst.
It's the scariest thing in the universe.

バクテリオファージ: We can only survive by staying ahead of it. Keep jumping from person to person, keep mutating and evolving.
バクテリオファージ: But now humans are adapting too fast.

We spread through their water. They built pipes.
We used mosquitoes. They put out nets and poison everywhere.
We spread through sex, and suddenly they all had these plastic things.

This time, we really thought we had them.
One of us got good at transmission through everyday contact.

It was great. We were tearing through lungs, spreading like wildfire.
欄外の声: Hooray!
欄外の声2 I hate lungs.

バクテリオファージ: Then, all of a sudden, humans everywhere just...stopped. They stopped working, stopped seeing friends.

欄外の声 What are they doing?
欄外の声2: Nothing!
欄外の声2: They're just sitting there in their houses washing their hands.

Suddenly humans became dead ends. We tried to jump from one to the next, but there's no one to jump to.
We can't escape.

We're trapped in there with those ghastly immune systems.

Even if we win a fight, there's nowhere to go.
By staying inside, humans have become resistant.

コッカス菌: How could they evolve that fast? Humans take decades to reproduce!
バクテリオファージ: It's not evolution. It's something with their brains.
大型バクテリオファージ: I wondered what those were for!

バクテリオファージ: Humans started looking at their phones, talking, writing words, and making signs. A human named "Gloria Gaynor" filmed herself singing at her bathroom sink.
And then they bought lots of pasta.
Then, around the world, they all went home and started washing their hands.

バクテリオファージ: They saw what we were doing and changed their behavior to stop us.
大型バクテリオファージ: Brains are the worst.

コッカス菌: It's not over, right? They can't sustain this. They must be bored and tired.
コッカス菌: Will they give up?
バクテリオファージ: I don't know. They seem determined to protect each other.

バクテリオファージ: And
バクテリオファージ: They have a lot of pasta.

Alt-text: We're not not trapped in here with the coronavirus. The coronavirus is trapped in here with us.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2020年) です。

6-Foot Zone - 6フィートゾーン


6-Foot Zone(6フィートゾーン)

Guide to the 6 foot Social Distancing Zone
Approximate area: 145 square feet
Border length: 43 feet
Population density: 190,000 people/square mile
Value at NYC real estate price per square foot: $195,000
Maximum number of horses that could fit inside it with you, estimated using the dimensions in the US Forest Service Equestrian Design Handbook: 8

Title text: Technically now it's a 34-foot zone.


 この記事のカテゴリは、xkcd日本語訳(2020年) です。